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Feeling Grateful

Lately, I haven’t been as grateful as normal. I have been whining, bitching and moaning like a spoiled kid. Not sure why. Could be I have worked almost all year with nary a break. Could be I have been dealing with some personal, family related issues and it has got me down. I’m not sure exactly what it is. The pressure of life has a funny way of working on you.

The past couple of days I had been thinking I needed to post something regarding feeling grateful just to remind myself that I have much to be thankful for.

Interestingly, just tonight I was watching the Diane Sawyer interview with Gabby Giffords which showed video of her recovery from a gunshot wound. Wow. My problems just started melting away. All those things that were getting on my nerves weren’t really anything at all.

You see, I’m lucky really. I’m lucky to be where I am. Just within the past couple of years I was diagnosed with ADHD. Lots of people think ADHD / ADD is just a fake disease to give big pharma an excuse to sell more pills, but from personal experience it is not. It can wrap your whole life around an axle – it did mine. After all of the things I put my wife through I am lucky to still be married. After all of the self-inflicted wound I am fortunate to have a roof over my head and someone to call my own. I won’t go through the litany of screw-ups I have made, but it is more than my fair share. It’s not fun being the black sheep of the family that everyone talks about. It isn’t enjoyable having people think you’re lazy, irresponsible, undisciplined or whatever. It is even less so when one of the people who believes those things is the love of your life. But, amazingly, after being diagnosed with ADHD things have started to improve. No, I’m not “better”. Nothing is going to fix me. But, learning about ADHD has been one key to better self understanding. Knowledge is empowering, and with it I have begun to do the hard work necessary to improve.

At the same time, I have seen the incredible strength of my Mother, as she took care of first her mother, then her father – both with Alzheimers. Her mother passed away some time back, and her father is now in a nursing home. My Mother’s courage and compassion are amazing and inspiring. So, while I sometimes complain about the minor things that get under my skin, she has been so incredible in honoring her parents and helping take care of them. I only hope I can someday be as good a person as she is. She has endured so much during her lifetime. I’m not ready to outline it all here right now, but maybe someday I will tell her incredible awe inspiring story. She is an amazing person who was raised by an equally amazing woman.

It is so easy to complain and be self-centered. It is all too easy to think the world revolves around you and wonder why everyone doesn’t realize just how great you are and tell you so constantly. But, often, the world just isn’t that way. I have worked some jobs where there was little praise and little reward for employees. It’s sad really. Even sadder is how many today don’t even have a job. So, when work gets me down and things don’t seem to go my way, I try and remember how fortunate I am to be working.

I have a nice house, transportation, food, a nice neighbor, a wonderful pet dog Rocco. I have some nice technical toys to play with. There is little that I lack that I can’t live without.

My bosses at work have been very good to me. They give raises and offer bonuses to the people in the part of the business I work in. They have given me praise and promotions. They listen to me even when I whine. They seek my opinion and extend their confidence and trust. There are few, if any other jobs I have ever held that I enjoyed any more than where I am at now. For that I am grateful.

I have a wife that takes such good care of me. She has tolerated me when I was intolerable. When I returned from a 9 month deployment to Bosnia and treated her like a soldier, she put up with me – not forever, but for a time. When I had wild scheme after wild scheme that failed and failed again, she stuck by me. She never failed to point out to me how smart she thought I was and how she believed I could do anything, even when I didn’t believe I could do anything. She is truly a gift from God – of that I have never once doubted. I am so grateful for her – she means the world to me.

You see, I’m lucky. I’m grateful. There is so much more I could say, but I’ll leave that for another time because there is more. My cup runneth over with an embarassment of blessings. All I have to do is open my eyes and look around to see how full my life truly is.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Terry Kinder
    April 9, 2012 at 12:12 am

    Reblogged this on Cape Girardeau ADHD Support Group and commented:

    Some days can be tough living with ADHD, but it helps sometimes to pause and be grateful for all the blessings you have in your life.

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